Monday, May 31, 2010

The Delta Phi Philosophy

When we are in distress in our apartment, and need a man's perspective, we know who to call. Our FHE dad, Mushu. He is a pretty cool guy, and went we need the help of a guy he is always willing to come to our rescue. He helped me out when I had an awkward date situation recently, so I told one of my FHE sisters about his wisdom of dating. I immediately sent a message to Mushu, telling him that our sister (his FHE daughter) needed advice, and he should come over. He came over exactly 3 minutes after he got back into town (he was gone for memorial day weekend). I thought I should publish a very interesting piece of information he gave to us. Here it is as acurately as I can remember:
There are 5 different types of guys:
1. The pre-mi-- this is the guy who has not been on a mission yet (pre-missionary). He is not very mature yet, because he hasn't had those humbling mission experiences that teach you important life lessons and turn you from a boy to a man. They are not a good idea to date except for that first curtesy date (I'll get the that later), because it causes isses when it comes time for the guy to leave, if not earlier.
2. The Dad-- Mushu put himself in this category and I'll give it to him even though I'm not sure it really exists. This is the guy who is a pre-mi, but is the protective father-like figure. He is a very good friend and is always there when you need him. People generally like this guy very much, even though he has not been on a mission yet.
3. The Catholic-- This is a guy who is very loyal. He picks one girl and sticks to her. No one else is interesting to him. This can be a good thing if a girl likes the attention, but he can also come off very clingy and that freaks some girls out. This can also ruin his chances with a girl if he gets too clingy too quickly.
4. The Mormon-- He is the typical mormon guy. As Mushu said, "This is the kind of guy you want." He will date a lot and is very likely to take you out to have a really fun time. He follows all the dating rules (I'll also get to that later).
5. The born again Christian-- He is the type who will lead you on. You think he really likes you but then when he gets sick of you he cuts you off.

I found this all enlightening. Although, I am still wondering why they gave these different types of guys names based off different religions rather than animals or some other topic. It's beyond me. Anyways, getting back to the curtesy first date. That is a girl's name for any first date with a guy she isn't really that interested in. Even if a girl doesn't really like a guy, she should always say yes to the first date. This gives the guy a chance. To say no to a first date means REALLY not liking a guy unless she has a legit reason not to go out with him. This date also gives the girl a chance to get to know the guy a little bit before crossing him off her "list." Crossing a guy off without giving them a chance to prove themselves is a horrible thing to do. If the girl does like the guy who asked her out, it is not considered a curtesy first date, it's just a first date.

Also getting back to dating rules... Mushu told us there are certain rules guys have. For example, you can't kiss her until at least the third date. I think that rule makes perfect sense. Making that move too soon will totally freak a lot of girls out. Another rule he told us is that a guy should never ask the girl on a second date until at least 24 hours after the date ends. That way she has time to sleep on it. This is totally true. If a guy asks her out right away after the first date this is what usually happens (I've seen it a million times):

The girl will say no, because she is suprised and didn't know what to say. She feels pressured and awkward so she says no in order to avoid more awkwardness.


She will say yes. She might be okay if she really likes you, but usually she will go home and start thinking and reflecting on the date, realizing that she shouldn't have agreed to a second date. She isn't so sure how she feels about you yet so she starts to get really uncofortable about the whole thing. This will make he dread the second date and possibly ruin the chance of a third.

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